A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
“The auditors have just left, sir.” “Did they check the books?” “Very thoroughly.” “What did they say?” “They want 15% to keep quiet.”
A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, “What is two and two?” The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was “Twenty-two.” The second was a social worker. She said, [...]
How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? “What kind of answer did you have in mind?” Two, one to change the light bulb and one to check that it was done within the given budget.
Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don’t 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3. Working Capital does not 4. Return on Investments never will
What’s the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.
The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him in to chastise him. “How could you possibly advise the client in the way you did? That was completely unethical. We are always conscious of Ethics in this firm. You do know what Ethics is [...]
What’s an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.
How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? Hmmm……..I’ll just do a few numbers and get back to you
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind ? A: None-just assume it’s changed.
